Saturday, May 06, 2006

i think i have found an answer.

you see, for quite some time, i have been feeling this totally "spiritual dry-ness" thing and i dont like it. its as though christianity is just going through the motion of ceremonies rituals ( worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry and evangelism). well, its not meant to be that way for those that did not know. my christian life used to be wonderful! i felt God ever so often. in the quiet of my room, or in the gathering of the people of the Lord. but it seems, recently, its gotten boring.

i asked myself a few questions.

1. have i gotten tired of the novelty? has the hype smoldered? was it just a "phase" that i was going through? have i "outgrown" it? (i know thats alot of questions to be considered as one question. but in its essence, they are all the same la.)

2. dry-ness is part and parcel of christian life. i know that. but this one is soooo long. whats wrong? should i go on? or should i take a break? i know i should not. since, i have to keep persisting into his presence to get out of the dry state. but how, when i feel so little?

3. what about my beloved central 3-ains? whats going to happen to them when their leader(i.e me) is so down in the crap.

yeah. questions like these and many more too.. also, i kept on holding on to that promise that if i keep on keeping on, God would keep me. that he would draw me BACK.

today, i kinda got a revelation. it just struck me (: God is good. he is... i know he is on his way for a revival. yes.. here it comes.. to all those who are dry and weary. here it is. i hope it helps...

if you are feeling dry, you spiritual like is kinda like stagnant right? (thats the word i have used alot to describe my situation and also my cell)

stagnant: Lacking vitality or briskness; sluggish or dull. Showing little or no sign of activity or advancement; not developing or progressing [ dictionary.com ]

i realised that, there has been nothing new to keep remove this stagnation. nothing new = same old same old = stale, boring, unrefreshing. hence, i concluded, with cross reference to my own personal life, that i have been stagnating because i have not been doing new things. as in like, taking steps of faith and stuff like that. challenging myself to step further into faith. its been to much of the old, too little of the new.

i need to do new things! i need to be boldly proclaming Christ's gift more! i need to be doing crazy things for God; with God. then, my relationship with him would blossom, since i learn to trust in him more and know that TRULY he is the Lord. this is the revelation God gave to me. i believe, it will touch many who are dry. i hope, if you read this, you would understand.

this, i have heard before. i am quite sure i have. somewhere. but now, its more real to me than anything. its like it has all of a sudden jumped AT me. like WAH! tio stun. if you know what i mean.

thank you Lord. for you came to fix my broken life, from the inside out.

i pray that you too would see this and be touched and be revived from the inside out.


hillsong united - from the inside out

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

[ming]eXtreme

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